I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
