So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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