I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
