I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
