It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
