Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize