I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
