I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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