allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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