he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
