It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
