is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
