Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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