four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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