its not stalking. its research.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
