Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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