I feel like I'm in dance class right now
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
