Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
