so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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