i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
