I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
