Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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