That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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