The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
