u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My ATM looks so different sober.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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