My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
