I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
this hospital has no fireball
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
