Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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