Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
