put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
