would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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