Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
