thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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