Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
