i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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