She said her name was "party"
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
