hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
