it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
