Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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