New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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