very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
