I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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