i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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