i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
