WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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