Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You ruined the universe
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