I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
