i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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