i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
