I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
