woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm bleeding and have questions
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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