I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
