Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
