I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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