Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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