Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
