i don't like sucking hair
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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