Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
