no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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